Monday, October 8, 2012

Tightening the screws

Just so I didn't feel like the universe had forgotten me and because my weekend was so...uneventful. Friday October 5th I drove over the hill to have lunch with Tymn.

I had no idea what to expect, no idea what we might talk about, no idea whether we would be in tearful puddles again or if by chance we might have an argument.

I mean the Astrology for the week was astounding! 3 planets changing signs and two others going retrograde all in a matter of 5 days! Mercury was heading in to Scorpio, anything to do with Mercury affects our communications. While the sign Scorpio tends towards intensity, hidden feelings and sometimes that good ol' scorpion sting.
But on the other hand Venus had just shifted in to Virgo, our planet of relationships in the sign of organizing, precision, kindness and in some cases critical judgments.
I just didn't know what to expect!

I was nervous at first but then I was terribly early, all my morning chores were done so I wound up navigating the hill and sitting in my car for a half hour playing on FB. There I noticed that Tymn had posted that he was sick, oh noes. I shot him a message that if he was too sick we could reschedule. But he didn't take me up on it.

I spent the next half hour reading a book in the restaurant, by this time my nervous jitters had worn off and I was mellow. Tymn showed up and we ordered lunch, he seemed nervous but we quickly settled in. We talked, chatted, exchanged stories. I was just so curious to see how he was doing, I asked most of the questions until he realized he was rambling. :) Then I related some of what was going on for me. By this time we were done eating, he offered to pay the tab, so I paid the tip. But we were not really done chatting so we went for a walk.

We talked about some more stuff, some just chatter, some of it was a little more emotional. I had this conception that he must have really talked bad about me because there was this woman who had contacted me wanting more info about our Open Circles. When I gave her the information and told her I was excited to meet her she back peddled, told me she was one of Tymns friends and did not want any contact with me.
I felt certain that she was just one of many I would get that response from in the new community he was building in the SJ area. I was saddened by my hurt feelers. But Tymn explained that this specific person had been a counselor and intimate friend, that she alone had heard some of his inner most pain and stories of our relationship and separation. That was a relief, however I am certain that there are others in his group of friends and family that would not be kind to me if I were to run in to them on my own.

It was then that we reached the park, we sat on a bench, but that makes it hard to speak face to face so we were both sitting funny to face each other. Do you know that park benches are not designed for comfort?!
After a few minutes Tymn scooched closer and took my hand. It felt good, a positive way to connect energies while dealing with all this crazy emotional shit we were talking about. We stayed like that for quite a while, holding hands until one of us needed to gesticulate to make a point, but then returning to holding hands. It was really nice to see him clearly, to look in to his eyes and see both the pain, joy and sincerity there. My heart cracked open a little further.

I suddenly realized that in none of his stories did he mention his partner??? I asked about that and he hedged at first then related to me that they were on different healing paths at this time. I'm not certain what it all means but my guess is they are not as close as they once were. Or perhaps she does not agree with his reconnecting with me. Either way it seemed a little sad to me and to watch him speak of it he looked quite sad about it himself.

Although we were having a grand time chatting and talking my rump protested the damnable bench and the awkward sitting position so we started to walk back but down a different street. We held hands as we walked, giggling at how we couldn't decide whether to hold under or over. At one point we switched sides and every thing felt better. Silly, so silly.

Again I got the feeling we were not quite ready to be done talking when he whirled me around and gave me a huge hug! awwww, it was so sweet! My heart cracked open a little more. I noticed a nice spot in the shade along someones hedge just down the way where we could sit and finish our chat. When we sat Tymn suddenly wilted! I was worried that he had over extended himself while sick but then it appeared to be more of an emotional retreat. I asked him what was wrong and in usual Tymn fashion he danced around answering me. He caught himself doing it, laughed and finally answered me straight. The feelings of affection were overwhelming him and at the same time the unknown territory of our newly forged friendship as well as the status of his current relationship all collided in his mind. Hmmm

We had a long discussion of relationship styles, contracts and the like, it was good, it was solid. It spanned the here and now and our history with out creating too much friction. I was having a great time, food a walk, a few tears, healing touch and a lot of laughs. The opportunity to look upon the face of the man that was once my husband, a trusted partner who at one point had hurt me deeply. No, no one in my clan would understand my deep desire for affection with this man but here and now it was like a first date. I let it be what it was going to be, who knows when we would see each other next, who knows what topics we might cover then. But I have hope, I hope that we can mend the places where we did work well together. And for those things in our relationship that did NOT work well in the past I hope we can forgive one another for the hurt it caused and move on.

We held hands on the way back to the parking lot and gave each other a long hug, hearts and minds searching for whatever kind of connection was possible.

I grinned like a fool all the way to the fabric store, spent way too much money and then drove back over the hill. Along the way I got a text from Tymn thanking me for a lovely lunch. I just sort of floated home.

Saturday morning I had a dream that woke me. It was about Zoe and all the love we once shared. I lay awake in the dark hours of the morning crying, trying to think of a way to bring this up next time I talk with Tymn. I don't want him to think I'm just being nice so that I can see her again. In fact I am much more relieved that we can be friends than whether or not I get to resume a relationship with Zoe. I had told myself years ago when he put down the law that I was to have no contact with her that I was willing to wait until she was old enough to come see me on her own. She has grown and although I'm sure she still regards me with affection she is her own person now, with her own goals and things to keep her occupied.
But I really wish I could call her or talk to her at length on FB or something. I hope her father has told her that we are working on making peace.

Skot found me on the couch around 8am reading to keep myself from crying. He cuddled me and petted my hair. Then Aya came in and we pulled her in on top of us, she must be all of 35#'s now. Skot got up to make coffee and tucked her in with me telling her I needed some extra snuggles this morning. I cried in to her hair, thinking of another little blonde girl who once used to snuggle me on the couch. My heart cracked open a little more.

Gawds healing is uncomfortable at times!

More screws in the head

The weekend after seeing my Sis, Skot and I drove to Santa Barbara for his cousins Wedding.
I had not been back to SB in nearly 20 years since I lived there with my first husband.

So I got to give Skot the abbreviated tour from the Highway. This exit is where I used to live, this exit is where I used to work, that exit was where I used to go for lunch, yadda yadda. All the while I'm running the tapes in my head of all the time I lived there, the things I learned, the things I wish I could forget.

We got in to town and stopped at the very first restaurant we saw, a little Mexican place in Carpintiria. Then we checked in to our hotel, freshened up, changed clothes and bolted back out the door. We arrived at the location but suddenly realized we had no idea 'where' the in this place the wedding was at.
After dashing around the front of the hotel we saw the bride...down the street with her gaggle of brides maids. We strode off at a brisk pace noting the wedding pavilion off in the distance on the beach. We made just in time, the family that recognized us grabbed us up in hugs and greetings and drew us off to sit on the Grooms side near the front. Hence the fabulous photo I got!

After the wonderfully crafted slightly bohemian Jewish ceremony we all trotted off to the reception area, upstairs in the hotel. We ate, we drank, drank some more, ate again, a little bit of dancing. All in all a good night.

The next morning I took him up the mountain to a vista point totally worth it! We were there for about 45 minutes. Just as we were about to leave I noticed the gas tank was empty...oops. We had to drive back in to Goleta to get gas but decided that a trip by Lake Cachuma was not to be missed so we went back over the pass, stopped for lunch by the lake then drove on Home.

A magical trek through California at the peak of Indian Summer. We noticed miles upon miles of vineyards as well as miles and miles of  vegetables. Truly we live in a fertile land.

This trip was not as mind blowing as the last two but I did get to mull over and process a chunk of my emotional history.

Keeping it together

Well if one mind blowing event wasn't enough try 3 or 4 in a row!
#1 After making an initial pass at Peace between me and my ex-husband. I traveled to Sac to see what my sister was up to.
It's been a while since I'd seen my Sis and I had heard that her and her Hubby had opened a new Yoga studio. Yoga? really? I mean they used to teach aerobics together, about 20 years ago! But Yoga, in my opinion is not just a set of body movements to get muscle tone so ... what were they up to?

She invited me to come up on Saturday to a little music festival but it turned out to be a fundraiser and Skot and I had just had the most expensive 60 days in our entire 5 years together! (the dog, the river trip, the car needing repair, D's Bday parties x 2, the internet provider, the phone line, the hot water heater blowing up and the refrigerator needing repair) We were broke!

Then my sister did some thing she has never done before... she used guilt. "I never ask you for anything, please come, I will pay your way."
Blown away! This must be really important to her so yes we are going.

We drove the 200+ miles to get to her and experience a fun little festival at someones ranch house. Butch and Chel had set up a booth for the Yoga studio and gave a prize to the Raffle pool. We had a good time, I got to visit with Chelly and go shopping at the little booths. But I had yet to understand why this in particular was so important to her.

It was after the dinner hour and we had munched on yummy savory crepes that the singer Chelly had been talking about came on. She was very sweet and sang some very moving spiritual songs, mostly in native american and then in Sanskrit, if she could have gotten everyone to sing with her it would have been a Kirtan. To my everlasting surprise when she came on she got everyone to OM with her and my Sis was right there with it. To my continuing surprise she also sang along with the sister singing Sanskrit!

#2 She explained to me later that the singer had performed at their studio, had taught everyone the words and then Chelly bought her CD. So she had been practicing. I was awed this was not what I had expected.
Later back at the house we had a late dinner and chatted it up with Butch. He was excited to get us to the studio the next morning. I was being a total wimp and explained that I am a very lazy and slow practitioner of Yoga, could I please sit in the back and just take my time. That is when Butch blew my mind with one of the kindest and wisest statements I have ever heard him say. "It's ok Mik that's why they call it a Yoga Practice, not a Yoga Perfect." I busted up laughing.

So right he is and that statement has kept me smiling all the way home.

The next morning we trouped off to the studio an absolutely gorgeous place (of course since my sister put in all the decorations) we 'practiced' in a 90 degree room, the sweat was pouring off of me and Skot but we had a good experience.

After lunch we drove home, well Skot drove, I snoozed!

I love my Sister and am so glad she has found a spiritual path!


Monday, September 17, 2012

Keeping ones head screwed on

 I showed up early and placed my tent in a most inaccessible spot well away from any other campsite. It would turn out to be a lot of extra walking and my legs were already beginning to feel the burn. I had learned the day before that the event I was attending was also to be attended by "him" and I was a nervous wreck.

I waited in the guest house hanging out with my hostess who promised to be my support should I need it if a conflict arose.
Conflict that is what I expected and I was terrified of it. I had tried not to let my imagination run away with me but never the less I had envisioned all sorts of anger and nastiness from this person. I was tense and stressed and the group finally had dinner together but this person didn't show up until the last minute. Watching them from the corner of my vision I kept myself in low profile, my eyes averted hoping to avoid any 'scene'. They came in and hugged all their friends and avoided me as much as I avoided them.

Earlier that afternoon I had volunteered to help with the ritual, but at this moment all I wanted to do was crawl back and hide in my tent. We all gathered at the edge of the circle, received a sage blessing from our hostess and took our place around the circle. Our Priest called the group to attention explained our purpose here at the fire; to find balance in ourselves in this season through the elements. We were to walk this marvelous 4 spiral labyrinth and seek the guidance of Earth, Air, Fire and Water. He then turned and called in Air we all did, then my turn, I called in Fire, we all did, then Water then Earth. Once the spiral began I was to begin the chant, I was so nervous I could barely breathe, I could hardly sing, my voice felt like ash in my throat, my stomach was in knots. I had to pass this person over and over as we wended through the spirals. I kept my eyes on my feet and thus got reprimanded later for being hard to hear.

Finally we were set adrift to circle the fire or drum as desired. I was rooted at the edge unable to brave my way to dance or even walk the circle. Finally I just sat, the ash in my mouth and what felt like a five pound weight on my chest. Fear. Fear of confrontation, fear of ridicule, fear of an others' spite or anger.
Finally a friend came by and asked me "was I ok". These words apparently are some hitherto trigger to my subconscious for I burst into tears and continued on with gasping sobs for several minutes while he patiently hugged me and patted my back. When I could finally speak again I told my friend that I was just too afraid to enter the circle yet. He checked my energy and just shook his head.

I watched for a while as the group danced and chanted and drummed. Finally the person I was avoiding left the circle to get some food. I took my chance and several deep breathes. I visited each quarter altar asking for guidance and blessings. The drums picked up and I was able to drop in to trance. My eyes barely slits so I could just see the fire and the other dancers. I spun, dipped, swayed and flowed with the rhythm of the drums, my tension receded to a corner of my mind and I was finally free to twirl in ecstasy for the fire, for myself.

When my breath and legs finally gave out I twirled toward the drummers and gave a low bow in gratitude. I opened my eyes to discover ‘he’ was among them. My heart jolted and hammered and I nearly ran from the circle, shocked to realize we had been that close, and then kind of curious. As I bundled back up in the necessary layers one needs to be away from the fire. I sat and contemplated his nearness, the fact that he was drumming while I danced. That his face held no show of disgust, no judgment, no reprimand for invading his holy space. I decided that that was enough for tonight. My tension levels were back up and I feared to tread any further so I headed off in to the night, to my tent, way the hell off at the bottom of the ravine, where no one could sneak up on me.

It took a while to get to sleep that night, so many things whirling through my head as I listened to the remaining revelers dance into the darkness. But sure as the sun comes up I was awake and by my standards of vacation it was too bloody early. 

However my bladder and my stomach conspired to get me up and out. I made it to the guest house around 9ish, fed myself, showered and headed off to the ponds for some reading. It was quiet and restful, the sort of weekend I had hoped for until I had learned 'he' would be there. I really had no idea what to expect now, there had been no vengeful scene, no glowering, and no confrontation. Was it really going to be ok?

 I realized I had a whole day to kill before the night’s revelry of another fire circle. 11:30 I was hungry again, I put my book away and headed for the guest house. Just as I rounded the corner heading up to the kitchen we encountered one another. I tried to vanish but it didn't work. I looked at him, smiled and said 'good morning' and turned to dash up the path. He replied 'Good's nice to see you'. That last part stopped me in my tracks, I whirled around and looked at him square in the face and asked 'Really?' Thinking to myself how could he be glad to see me??

'Yes' he said. My mind was reeling; his voice was filled with kindness as were his eyes. I was rooted to the spot as he approached me. We started talking and I really cannot remember all of it but at one point I complimented him on his earrings. He pulled one off and handed it to me. Again I was utterly stunned, kindness and now a gift, a peace offering. They looked like screw heads and he told me they were holding his head together which made me laugh. We hugged, very tentatively at first then both of us burst in to tears and hugged again more fully. The five pound stone suddenly dropped off my chest and I could feel, feel the tentative compassion and longing from this other.
Awkwardly we decided to go sit and talk privately, we were both shaking, crying, nervous and surprised. 

The sharing here was intimate, heartfelt and heart rending. We exchanged a few stories and a few thoughts. We shared a longing for peace and repair. The air was so thick about us, the stories worded so carefully as to not place blame but to share one’s own feelings. We were so close to something, some sort of break through. But we were interrupted by others who needed the space we were in. If not for having to disengage from that moment I think we would have continued our heart sharing for quite a bit longer. But we were both in shock and needed to take care of our personal needs. 'He' headed for the shower; I headed for the kitchen, still clutching the proffered earring.

I ate, I know I did because I had avocado all over my face and crumbs down my front but I don't remember eating it. I could not stop crying. The tears ran freely down my face and neck as I stared in to space and reviewed the sudden and miraculous turn of events.
It was at this point I made my decision to fully embrace the miracle. I took out the earring I usually use to represent my father and placed this gift in its place. Now I had one screw to help hold my head on. =)
'He' stopped by my table and asked if I was, I replied but I was hanging in there. We held one another's hands for few moments and then he departed to get himself some food.

I was approached and chatted with by another but my head could not wrap around it. Then my friend reappeared and I asked if he would take a walk with me. We wandered around and bounced out of a couple conversations with others until we found a spot in the shade where we could talk alone. I related my experience and this friend knowing us both and had some very kind counsel for me.
The shock and adrenaline had worn off by then so I went to my tent and took a nap.

When I awoke it was late afternoon, I lay in the tent writing in my journal trying to sort out all the chaotic feelings I was having.

Dinner at the guest house again, we were able to share space and meet one another's eyes. I met and chatted with several members of the group. I shared an awesome conversation with the evenings Priestess then received a massage from a lovely woman who offered it when she saw how much pain I was in. I greeted a few late comers that I knew, and then got dressed up for ritual.

Ready and prepped for the evening’s festivities I helped our hostess schlep some food out to the circle.
Again we entered sacred space with a smudge of sage, we stood in circle and listened to the Priestess explain the evenings goals, again it was about balance but this night we were to ask the universe at large for the answer to how we might better create balance in our lives. I swear she looked directly at me a few times, stressing a few points. We called in the elements and started the swirling dance and chant. My bodily pain escalated and I faded off to get a drink and beg for pain killers. My hostess happily gave me some with caffeine in them for good measure. The pills and the wine relaxed me and without the weight of fear in my heart I danced and swirled to my heart’s content.

I was resting a moment when 'He' began a chant of haunting familiarity. I was thrilled I was going to be able to bear this memory and greet it with great joy. I rushed to the circle and joined in to the hypnotic song. It had been a very long time since I had heard this tune or his voice for that matter. I had forgotten just how much I liked it, just as much as I had forgotten that 'he' likes to get everyone started singing the base line before he starts in on a more complex verse layered over the top.

The words he sang poured over me like liquid flame. Memories firmly stowed in the back of my mind flooded forth, freed from their captured and frozen state. Good memories, fond memories...loving memories.
I careened out of control and spun off in to the night. I sat down on a stump as the memories and tears flowed. Oh dear Goddess! The love that once was and had been forever lost to me. I gave myself up to the wave after wave of emotions, all I could do was sit and hold my hands before me in supplication to the energy from the center.

The song faded, the drums shifted and I realized I was chilled. I dashed for my cover up, coat and blanket. I sat in my chair and just shook with unbridled and rampaging emotions.
Our evenings Priestess materialized out of the darkness, she stopped and asked me how I was doing.
Yeah those three little words sent me off in a torrent of sobbing again. She stayed and talked with me for a while. I finally tried to explain that it felt as if I had just had duct tape ripped off an open wound in the middle of my chest. For one that I had loved so deeply, so long ago was here. That I had feared hate and rejection and had received love and compassion and now all these memories of love and good times were flowing forth in my mind.

I asked her then if she knew who I meant. She said she did, I asked her if she knew who I was, she said she did not, not fully.
"I am Tymn’s ex-wife" I explained "and we have not spoken face to face in over 5 years." and in that moment realization dawned in her eyes.
Astonished she gave me praise for being willing to go through what I was going through. For the bravery she suspected it took for me to be in this space. And then she firmly dragged me off for chocolate, wine and more hugs.

The rest of the night was sort of blurred. I really really wish I had had more time to talk to him. I think there was so much more to say, I just did not know how to start it nor did I wish to drag him away from his evening just so I could 'process'. So I let it go and just watch him as he drummed, and sang and danced. Memories flitted and battered my mind and the tears ran freely down my cheeks.

I lost stamina about 3am and wandered off to bed. I could hardly get to sleep with all the emotional turmoil, the continued drumming and the deflating mattress. But I did sleep some and woke again, damn it, far too early for a vacation. The pain in my leg was worse now and the thought of trekking up and down the hill was too much to bear. I decided it would be wise to just break camp and load up my car. Then I drove back up to the guest house. 

I was intent on cleaning up my stuff but got drawn in to another conversation. 'How are you?' she asked and the tears started again. I was unaware that I could cry so damn much at the drop of a few simple words. I explained to yet another one of 'his' friends who I was and what was going on. She, like the others, looked immensely surprised and then she dashed around the table to hold me in a very kind hug.
We were just finishing up our chat when Tymn came up the trail. We greeted one another and gave each other a hug. Shared some random small talk of the fire, the lack of sleep and the hangover. He offered me coffee and I accepted. We sat at the kitchen table and chatted amicably with his friends around us. All were now aware and it seemed their interest was keen despite the grogginess.

I finally checked the time and excused myself to finish gathering my things, I loaded them in the car, slipped in to the shower for a quick rinse then returned to the guest house. I was glad to see they were still there hanging out and chatting. I prodded my hostess, Susan, for a hug, then Shimmering Wolf. Tymn jumped up next, we not only hugged but held on to each other for several moments, letting the energy flow between us unhindered by fear, looked deep in to one another's eyes and then he gave me a parting kiss. (WOW!!)
Staggering from this I got a huge hug from my friend, Bear, and deliriously waved farewell and got in to my car and drove home. Not entirely sure how, I don't really remember the drive. Something to do with sleep deprivation and emotional shock but the car knew the way home and all the rules of the road so I was safe.

I feel like I had a rocket explode inside me. My heart is raw, my head is spinning and I hurt like hell. I reminded myself that I did some spell work on Wednesday night. A dark moon ritual with Hecate, asking her for clearing and openings, Good grief!

Not certain where this leaves or leads me but I am certain that it is better than it was before. One must lance the festering wound before it can begin to heal properly. And now I have at least one screw in my head to try and hold it in place.

Blessed Be.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

7/28/2012 Dog gone :(



The family has finally come to terms with the facts. China is not getting better and is slowly declining due to her inability to control her bowels.
It is with heavy hearts we chose to have her euthanized but with full recognition that she will be much better off not having to deal with the indignities of wetting herself, not being able to stand or jump or even wag her tail.
Several people came by to visit over the last week and some of our loving friends gave us funds to pay for her treatments. We had a small gathering of friends last night, all took turns giving China treats and love.

This morning we had our mobile vet put China to sleep, may she rest in blissful peace running through the fields of Summerland eating the bees and wallowing in super stinky things to her hearts content. May all the Fey revel in her beauty and love while rubbing and petting her until the fur flies off in drifts of coppery snow.

Thank you every one for your support and love we will all miss 'China the Gate Keeper, Greeter of the Masses'! My only dog ever and beloved companion of the whole family.


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

7/25/2012 Doggy days

Whew it has been a rough morning already. 10am

Skot took China in to the shower with him, she was getting pretty gamy. Then he wrestled her out and dried her off, I gave her her first dose of meds then she started leaking again. So Skot carried her outside but with no real success in having her stand or potty on her own.

After he brought her back in and got her cozy on her cushions I broke down crying again. I want so badly to have my wiggly bouncy puppy back and it's becoming harder and harder to believe we can rehabilitate her. We can't keep carrying her around and cleaning up dog piddle forever. So Skot and Mom and I agreed that if there is no marked improvement by the end of this week we will let her go on Monday.

It is such a heart rending choice to make. I know how much I love her and I know how much others enjoy her so I have been holding on to hope that this was fixable. But we need to be realistic.

SO for the next 5-6 days we are going to go ballistic with healing sessions, acupuncture and all around spoiling of the dog. If by Sunday she can wag her tail or stand on her own we will persist until she is fully recovered. If not then with great love and deep regret we will need to let her go. Highest Will be done.

All your love and prayers are very appreciated!
If you want to come visit please call and arrange a time.
If you want to donate a little to the medical bills that would be awesome too.

Light, Life and Love

Monday, July 23, 2012

7/23/2012 Update on China

During the day it was much the same. Still unable to move on her own, not able to control her bladder and still no excrement. =(
Poor puppy has been listless and limp.
She perked up for dinner and was down right excited when the vet showed up at 6:30. We took her outside and had an exam, did some rather unorthodox removal of feces then came back inside. It took us a few tries to find the right location to have China for the acupuncture treatment but the best was flat out on the floor. Maria worked tirelessly at getting the needles in and to stay, she went absolutely overboard knowing we need results sooner than later for fear of China going toxic with a full colon. She must have used over 40 needles, after the initial shock and twitching China finally hit that 'zone' of relaxation. We discovered more clearly where her nerves might be damaged.

Maria gave Skot several instructions for physical therapy to do over the next few days and she will be back tomorrow for another treatment. She says that given some care there is potential for recovery but we are keeping a pragmatic view as well. She was here for 2+ hours and really gave China a good thorough treatment.

China is in a good space tonight and ready for bed after her evening dose of meds.
More tomorrow

Sunday, July 22, 2012

7/22/2012 doggy update

Last night went well with all the fuss and care. We made it through the vet visit, the Prednisone injection and the meds last night. We all slept well.
She is liking the wet food and liverwurst wrapped medications. Unfortunately there has been no change in her condition. If anything she is still confused as to why her rear end does not work. 

She has been outfitted with diapers and a piddle pad but accidents do happen and I have had my share of wiping up the carpet today. She has no control over her bodily functions and is terribly embarrassed by it.

Jeri is collecting Reki practitioners and is planning on a group remote therapy session. Contact her if you want to be in on this. Other than that I spoke with the Vet again this afternoon who was saddened by the news that there was no change after the Prednisone treatment. We discussed a few options and I got a few phone numbers. SO we have a Veterinary Acupuncturist coming to our house Monday evening around 4:30

I am so hoping this will help.
All your prayers, well wishes, love and energy are much appreciated
China sends her best wet doggy kisses to you all.

Saturday, July 21, 2012


So last nights shocking events with our dog China have not changed. When we got home from dinner last night she was fine then all of a sudden she could not walk. We held her and did whatever we could to make her comfortable last night and finally exhausted the family went to sleep after midnight.
This morning nothing has changed. She is still unable to walk or even wag her tail. She looks sad and is trying to be patient.
We have all had several good cries today and made an appointment with the vet for noon. We do not expect miracles and she is an old dog. She has been a member of my family for 8 of her 9 years. She is loyal, loving and sweet.
I will update later today the results of our visit to the vet, but most likely we will have to put her down.
Love and Peace my sweet puppy.
The Xrays are inconclusive, we are not able to do any surgery or cat-scans (irony)
So we are using cortisone, muscle relaxants, hands on healing and patience.
She is comfortably drugged at the moment. We'll give it 48 hours and see how it progresses.
Went and dropped off kids, attended the Lughnasadh rehearsal then stopped at Safeway and bought; diapers, puppy mats, baby wipes, wet dog food and liverwurst. A truly odd combination but I remembered my good friend Jeri when dealing with a sick pup putting diapers on it with a hole cut for the tail. This will hopefully waylay any yucky clean ups.
5:30 pm She is happy and chipper, I fed her some of the wet food, which she gobbled off the plate. I am waiting to see if it settles before I feed her more. She is really alert, aware and happy to see us. I will continue to update.

Friday, July 20, 2012


 I really do suck at blogging
and today I bashed my left pointer finger while changing the rabbit cage doors around so it's hard to type.

After the CS walk at Fall creek we gamed all day, it was a blast. =) Although getting the kids to all the places they needed to be was tricky. Skot had to skip the walk to make the drop offs.
We worked in the yard then went to the Lughnasadh rehearsal. good fun
Back to business, I think I did chores around the house all day!
I did my usual morning then packed up for a day out. Lunch with the LoL then met with Skot for coffee and snuggles before I raced off to Livermore for dinner with Aaron, Wendy and Rhana. Then out for drinks with the Birthday boy before returning home and having a nice cozy evening.
Drove like a bat out of hell to get back in time to pick up meet with Abra and pick up D. Home to get ready for the Board meeting and potluck dinner, which ended at 915. I then took a shower and went to bed!
Went to Beverly's to purchase fabric for Abra's project. Came home and sewed one pillowcase together, showed it to her and she approved so I finished the rest of them. Dropped them off at her house when I went to fetch D from Dance. Started on Skot's costume for Lugh.
Skot's and my 5th year together and our 4th Hand fasting! Squee.
It was a tight scheduled day though so we only had an hour+ to run out to the stone circle and renew our vows. Then we took D to Games group, she stayed with friends. Aya's friends were out of town so we wound up just hanging out and playing video games before bed.
Saturday was busy too. I drove to Bonny Doon to pick up D by 11am, then home, then dropped D off at her Dad's, went to OC, left early to pick up D and take her to work. Stopped by a couple stores and found a fantastic idea for Lugh, I will put birdseed in tissue paper to huck at the participants during ritual. giggle.
Lughnasadh rehearsal went well, all sorts of finalizing ideas coming to light.
After the rehearsal we came home and crashed with more video games.
Aaahhh. Finally a day to be together. This is the day Skot and I chose to really celebrate our Anniversary. First I went through our copious amounts of seeds to chose what I wanted to plant. Then we went to the garden store and bought some soil as well as some flowers for Aya to plant.
Skot helped me tear out the old veggies and prep the soil. then he took Aya to her Mom's while I planted seeds. We had a few conversations while doing this. I wanted to know why he wasn't helping me and he reminded me that I tend to get cranky when someone takes over my project. :) accepted. He went on to roll a log across the yard, well almost he never got it to ts destination.
I then took a shower to scrub off all the grunge before we set ritual in motion.
Casting circle from the ring in the yard, calling up the property guardians and ingesting a vision quest. The rest of the afternoon was spent exploring the property, inch by inch, vista by vista, reconnecting with the land and each other as we went. Skot pulled stories out of me and was so sweet when he said 'I forget just how long you have been a witch on this property'. Sigh, squee, oh and how in love with him I really am.
I had the best peach ever while sitting on the back deck enjoying the sight of the neighbors trees and the fog that never really made it over our house until after 7pm. :) (2-3hours! of glorious fog wisps)
We had a light dinner then made love, coming back out to retrieve our ritual gear from the circle and have a late evening snack.
Atruly delightful way to end the weekend and celebrate our time together, here.
unfortunately later that night Skot got a migraine and wound up throwing up for a few hours, I got up to help then put him to bed on the couch. Poor baby.
Water my seeds as well as the new flowers, feed animals and fill water containers. I think I finally feel like I own this place, it's mine and thus I should treat it as such.
5 loads of laundry a SMOG certification for the Acura and $320 worth of groceries purchased and put away. All on top of my Cycle starting, I fell over at the end of the day!
Started the day off slow. Animals, seeds then sewing. Was sewing when it came time for LoL so I took it with me. A good day to learn about the evolution of Darwinism. Came home and continued to sew. burned out about 530pm, went in and had left overs for dinner then read for a few hours. Skot was out in Monterey with Colin. D arrived at 7, visited with Juan til 9. I continued to read while D did some Algebra. A nice quiet evening. :)
Started a cleaning spree on the house with D, had Aya delivered at noon. Had a good chat with Abra, we may not have Chip at the river this trip??? because of Carsen, what a hard time. Abra got to meet Alisa, then Abra left and I helped Alisa look through the shed for cord, no luck. The kids were acting wonky but D finally settled on painting her room and Aya did some work books and read.
Aya went to a friends house while I prepared for the gathering. Friends showed up and we had dinner together then we all gathered around the fire pit. We burned things that no longer needed to be kept. It was really nice to have Tamara join us.
Everyone left by 9:30, again a nice mellow evening.
I made up my mind to make it up to D for not taking her out on Thursday. I got my chores done and rummaged her out of bed all groggy and cranky.
We took the Suzuki, I showed her how to put fuel and oil in it. Then we went to the bank to make a deposit and over to Java Jct. for treats. We arrived at Geoffa's around 11:40, picked up a very tired Aya and went to town to shop for gifts. We found a couple of books but Aya's energy was really low, so instead of dragging them all over the place we went home and rested until Aya had piano, D also accepted an extra shift at the restaurant so I dropped her off at her dads to get dressed and ready. Back to get Aya from piano then back to get D. Took D to work and Aya to Yssy's. Good grief, by this time it was after 5pm! When I go thome Skot had warmed up left overs and fried the chicken, a little tough but tasty. We then separated the baby bunny's by gender, mighty strange, 4 of each! Then we played video games for while and true to his word Skot gave me one of the best massages I have ever had! He went back to working while I read then went to bed, after D finally got home at 10:30. She looked so tired.
So Today is Mom's Bday, 79!
I took care of plants and animals, then lots of emails. Took D to games group then went after feed in Soquel. Traffic was horrid. had a couple hours online then went after the girls. They have both showered and are getting read for us all to take Mom out for dinner at the Crows Nest. =)
A delightful and delicious dinner with Bill Jeri, Tamara and Dave. To our surprise Dave paid the bill!!
We came home and were greeted by our bouncy loving dog, with wags and a toy in her mouth. The kids went out in the near twilight to water the bunnies and check on the yard. They started calling for us to come help China. For some reason she was unable move her back legs. We carried her inside and checked her over as best we could, we gave her some Benadryl in case she had a bite. We watched we waited we fretted we cried and huddled together as a family with the realization this could be the end of our China Girl.

Friday, July 6, 2012


I have been having really vivid and bizarre dreams lately.
But as Skot is still in a foul mood I did not get to share them this morning. I thought about his predicament again and all I could come up with was to rewrite his resume and present it to his employer. Ask what Job description he fit and take no less than what we need to survive. He heard me and mulled it over but he still seems panicked.
In the kitchen I made him a lunch since he was leaving for the day. Then He stared cleaning something nasty while in his nice clothes I tried to stop him but I was accused of micro managing. hrumf
I got him out the door as fast as I could.
Now I have a bored 10 year old, the teen is still asleep but will be going out for the afternoon.


Been quite a week
Thursday was consumed with excruciating CS email stuff. Which had the entire Board up in arms. ugh.
Kids to Piano and dance then home for dinner

Friday I herded the kids around to various destinations. Dropped D off at Games group, left Aya home with Dad.
Went to the tattoo parlor to support Jeri as she got her Raven Tattoo. 4 hours, quite a long sit. In between, I went home, checked on Skot and Aya, drove to Scotts Valley and picked up Camille, back to Santa Cruz to pick up D, back to the Tattoo parlor.
Bill and Jeri had invited us to ice-cream after the tat, but that was when they thought it might be done by 3. so at 4:30 I gave up and took the girls to the grocery store, picked up ice-cream and came home, made dinner and chilled.

Saturday Skot and Aya left at 9:30 to walk Wilder creek to the ocean. I was on retrieval. Then I fed and took Camille and D to the Boardwalk around 11:30, well almost. I didn't make it past Bay and Westcliff, the traffic was ugly. I dropped them on the corner and told them I would fetch them at 3.

I had a couple hours to myself but by 1 I was fretting that I had heard nothing from Skot. At 1:30 I left a message on his cell that at 2 I was going to start driving up and down Hwy 1 looking for them. :)
At 1:45 I got a call back saying they had just reached the highway, so I took off after them.
Somewhere about this time D and Camille ran out of money and decided to walk to her fathers house.

I got the pair of wet, tired and bedraggled hikers home and in to the shower. We were supposed to bring Aya to her mother so I got them dressed, fed and rested then in to the car. Several things needed to happen, all at once. We dropped Aya off at Moms then went to Juan's where I dropped off D's Uniform for work, picked up Camille and took her home to Scotts Valley. Came back to fetch D (who did not look ready to go to work!) and took her to Jefferey's, where she promptly got harassed for looking disheveled.

Skot and I then contacted Annika, who was in town and planning to stay the weekend. We had a hell of a time connecting with them. We waited at Saturn but then they called since their car battery had died, so we had to drive up to the Seabright neighborhood. This had Skot and I snarling at each other since we each had our own ideas on how to get there. We jumped their car and all drove back down to Saturn for dinner. A delightful adventure.
After dinner we took Annika home, the two of them not knowing what to do with themselves decided to give me a tandem massage. Oh man that was wonderful! When they were done with me they poured me on to the couch in the living room and went back to the bedroom to re-consummate their relationship. By the sounds of it they were having a great time.

Sunday We all got up and had breakfast together, it started a little late and I was expecting the CS crew at 10 so I started setting up while Skot and Annika made food.
I put out tarps and shade umbrellas for the Shed cleaning, then I dusted chairs and moved the deck around for the Solaris post-Mortem. I think Angus appreciated that.
People started arriving just as I was finishing breakfast. The Solaris meeting lasted 2 hours, by the end of it Ang was too toasty hot to stay and help. That wound up being me, Steve, Nancy, Willow, Skot and Annika. Thank goodness we had a few good hands. It took us 3 hours and numerous rest breaks to get it all cleared out on put back in. But it looks Fabulous!!

After all that I collapsed on the couch, Skot and Annika took off and had fun. When they returned they tried to talk me in to sleeping in the bedroom, but I was already glued to the couch and so I shooed them off.

Monday, back to the regular schedule. Skot went to work and I took Annika to the Bus station. Came back and met with Matthew Cummick and discussed the layout for the new bunny hutches.Need food so I went grocery shopping and holy moly was the traffic strange out! People were getting ready for 4th of July, I was so glad to get home and hide. I made a kick ass dinner and then Skot and I went to Logos for our date nite.

Tuesday I spent most of the day creating the CS newsletter and E-Announcements. Also discussed with Abra a project for some curtains at the studio. Checked in with Matthew as he worked. And had a generally low energy day. Skot went to dinner with his mother so I took D and Mom to see the movie Brave. A real tearjerker for Moms and daughters. :)

Wednesday I finished the CS announcements and got them emailed. Checked in with Matthew, got D up and out then went and picked up Aya at noon and re-discussed the curtain project with Chip. Less material needed and no real sewing required. I took the girls to Beverley's picked up the fabric and got a few things for the girls. :)
Took D to dance about 2 hours early but there you have it, we were out and about. Dropped the fabric off at Abra's and had a really nice long talk with her about D and the future of her dancing.
Aya and I headed home, she and her father had some video game fun while I finished a few more details on the newsletter.
I packed a bunch of warm jackets and Skot grabbed a couple blankets and tossed them in the car. We took off at 4 to get D from dance at 4:30 (the traffic being horrendous on the 4th of July we gave ourselves a little extra time.) We got there in time, D switched in to her pants and we went to Chocolat for dinner and hot cocoa, our traditional 4th celebration. It was too early for fire works so we went to the Santa Cruz bookshop for an hour. The kids both found a book they wanted in the psychology section!!!
Off to Scotts Valley, we looked around and I chose a parking spot all the way near the front exit and we walked in to an empty parking lot that was filled with spectators. We plunked ourselves down and claimed a space. After about 10 minutes D and I decided we needed to pee. We also wanted a hot drink. We ventured to the Nob Hill just before the rush and it still took us 30 minutes to get our drinks.
Back at the blanket Skot and Aya really needed to pee so they took off as soon as we got back. When they returned looking a little less pained they enjoyed the tea that we brought, everyone was grateful for the coats and scarves I brought. :) The show started at 9:15 and ended by 9:35. Then the madness hit!!!
We bolted for our car, way up front. I thought I had figured it out but noooooo. We were stuck in the same spot for nearly 45 minutes before I decided to take the back way out. Counter intuitive the rest of the folks were still waiting to get out the front where as a few of us knew how to get out the back and get on Bean Creek. We made it home around 10:45 exhausted but in good spirits.

Thursday recovering from our night out everyone was up late. Skot went work, me and the girls were on slow motion. I finished the newsletter and put it on a thumb drive. Matthew finished the bunny hutches and we said our farewells. I got the girls to do their chores and the house looks great. We took off at 3 to get treats at 7/11 then to Aya's piano lesson at 3:30, D and I read our books on the balcony. At 4 we took D to dance then back tracked first to the grocery store then to Office Max where I printed 75 copies of the newsletter while Aya petted kittens a Petsmart. I called Angus and he was thrilled to have me drop them off.
We whisked by and dropped that off then headed home. Whew got home a little after 5 and Skot had not started the BBQ, hrmph. And thus we began snarling at one another. Skot has been very topsy turvy this week with work so he has been very unsettled at home with me. We argued about how the feeders should go on the bunny hutches We made dinner and Aya suggested we eat out doors, Skot was ready to do so when I reminded him we were going to watch the recital at 7. Again I must have been using the wrong tone of voice cuz he got miffed with me again.
I left and went to get D from dance we got home at exactly 7, dinner served up and we ate in front of the TV. The kids were thrilled to see themselves in performance. They then did the dishes and went to bed. Skot was still in a foul mood, we tried to discuss his predicament, I looked over the documentation and realized why he was so frantic. There just simply was not enough information for him to create a new employment contract and the one that was in place was not sufficient to keep us solvent. I tried to make suggestions but he was just too upset to listen.
We went to bed, he did some meditation while I did yoga, he did not cuddle me when I got in to bed and I had a cat wrapped around my pillow as well as my feet. Gah!

Boy I hope it gets better

Wednesday, June 27, 2012


Ok so I am settling back in to my life a little better.
Yesterday's Pithy Brit movie on how the Universe changed was a wonderful reminder that not all we think we know is true. =) Galileo did some wonderful things for modern thinking by being a rebel.

I went to buy some new jeans at Ross and came away sadly disappointed but fetched up several nice things from the Goodwill instead.
Home again to make the family some yummy food and watched an incredibly inane movie called Dargo. I had been wondering why I didn't hear about it when it was in the theaters, now I know.

Today I need to get a few things done and then prepare for our coven gathering tonight. I drop Aya off at Dance at 3:30 then pick up both girls from dance class at 4:30.

We'll see how much I can get done before then. :)
M~ 9:22am

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Several important things this June 2012

I am really in awe of how much has happened in such a short period of time. I think that the universe likes to speed things up for Summer!
First off D and Aya did an amazing job at their dance recital. D was in 5 performances and Aya was in 4. Both girls have really improved their style. I did not get a picture of Aya that day but here is one of D wrapped around her friend Rory and hugged from behind by Malakai. Mal's little sister Saskia is in front.

The day after the recital Aya turned 10!! OMG! beautiful little Aya is growing up so wonderfully. And now that I am home and spending more time with her we have really bonded. She gives great snuggles and hugz! This picture was when her and I took a walk around Antonelli's Pond.

NOW! D has graduated from Sophomore to Junior in HS. Good heavens where does the time go?! Her report card was phenomenal, all B's and one C+ (in her least fav subject) She also took an extra class which rewarded her with an extra 3 points toward her graduation, that was an Intro to Psychology. She also did an internship as a Teachers Assistant at the dance studio, which also granted her extra points toward her HS graduation.
She laughingly told me that she thought of them as 'Mario Points' and soon she would level up.
She was aiming for something like 25 points this year and netted 33.5!
I am very proud (as if that was not obvious)
The next amazing thing that has happened is that D started working...I know! 'Say What?!?!' Yup she is 15-1/2 and has started learning the ropes at her Dad's work, she is Hostessing at Jefferey's Restaurant on Saturday night. I got to deliver her to her first day on the job and got this photo, which she promptly made me 'swear' I would not post on FB, so I am posting it here instead. =) (Please do not repost)
Shortly after D's Graduation I mailed in my Bachelors exam papers to the University of Metaphysics in Arizona. They emailed me and said they had received my packet and would get back to me in about 4 weeks. It took me a little over 2 years to work my way through the 48 lessons included in their BS program. I am looking forward to the Masters program!

Next on the Summer schedule was Solaris and I had a fantastic time this year. Lots of fun, new people, old friends, and experimenting with a two track template. There was little to no drama, lots of love and laughter, drums and dancing, meditation and twister. =D

I come home and try to sort out my life, laundry and sleeping habits when Nancy calls and says she'll be stopping by to give me her old car. Yes we had discussed it, yes I was thrilled to accept it, but somehow it had not become real to me until we sat down and signed the pink slip last night!!!!
So the next step in that story is to get D her Permit, teach her to drive and give her my little Suzuki.

Also my little green babies have really fluffed out and I am getting excited about the fruits they will offer up at harvest time. I have squash, corn and string beans in one container then Tomato, hard squash and a mystery volunteer in the other box. The mystery plant came with the compost and it is starting to act like either a pumpkin or melon with little curly strands reaching out.

Last but certainly not least our latest batch of baby bunnies is up and bouncing around the cage. I have managed to cook rabbit well enough that my family likes to eat it so there is one more success. This batch is 8 and we will not be keeping any of them this time. The last batch we kept a doe and a buck for future breeding.
Holy Moly, my life is filled with such joy and I am grateful.

OH almost forgot about the 198' of new fence line!! The whole South and West side of the property got a face lift. Thanks to our industrious and fairly priced new handy man. He ingeniously reused about 90% of the existing fence boards, replaced all the posts and put in a kick board that will keep the bugs from eating any more of the fence. Included was also a kid ladder in the S/W corner under the apple tree so that Aya and her friends can go up and down with out too much trouble. =)

Monday, June 25, 2012

6/25/2012 catching up

I have been a bad little blogger.
Not enough time nor enough umph to get it done.
There was the finishing of my Bachelors exams
Re-commitment to Brigid!
There was D's first day at work and her report card of nearly all "B's" (just one C+)
There was Solaris!!!
Ideas for a book or three to write!
Good grief I have been busy
Today I'm just trying to reintegrate with domestic life. Laundry, cooking and the like. Tonight we are going to visit and have dinner with Skot's Mom. It's her Birthday.

Checked on the bunnies they are big enough that I have removed the box, replacing it with a small board and some fresh straw.
We ordered new cages by phone today, not sure when to expect them, maybe a week or two. Just in time to remove the babies from their Mamma hopefully. Spoke with Matt Cummick, his plate has gotten really full but says he will make time for us when the cages arrive and build us a frame to put them on.

Catching up with the laundry, one more load to wash that will make 5 in all and that is just the clothing. =)

OMG and today I got a new car!!!
Nancy gave me her old car now that she got her new one!

Drove it to SJ for Bday dinner with Robin. Boy it drives smooth, and fast, oh my.
Robin was in a fabulous mood and we had a great time with her and her friends in the neighborhood.

Monday, June 11, 2012


Woke up around 7, got up around 8. =)
Lazy bones. Got started with coffee and breakfast, dealt with bunnies and chickens, watered the green babies, then attacked the email.
Organized the Solaris stuff I was working on, sent Ang my proposed schedule of events.
I looked over the list for capming at Solaris and then checked my calendar to make sure I had put down a time to pack for that.

Looked in to the camping for July 27th..!!! Kabins are expensive. So I sent an email to the gang to see what we wanted to do. Sigh, this has been difficult at best from the very get-go.

Now I'm just trying to catch up with Blogging and emails.
Contacted Matthew Cummick, they are nearly back from their adventure and he says he will connect with us next week. Sweet! I want the gate moved and we need the bunny hutch put up soon.
Ok what now...

Spent about an hour and a half cutting veggies and sauteing them before putting them all in the crock pot. browned up one of the smaller rabbits and put it in with the rest. We'll see in 5 hours whether it was worth all the effort.
Taking some time to scour my calendaring for any discrepancies, up coming events and working on my necessary to-do's.


Ah Sunday
We woke up late, we went to Charity's house for a home made brunch. We went shopping at Beverly's.
When we got home we decided to work on the homestead. Skot Mowed the yards while I cleaned the kitchen. I helped him a few times with this and that. Took ice bottles to the bunnies around 2/3 pm, it had gotten fairly warm. Baby bunnies are all looking very healthy.

I got a lot done in the house, the kitchen was totally trashed and Mom had done 3 days worth of dishes which I needed to put away. Scrubbed the counters and the sink then the stove top and front. Blech, I also organized the drawers and tucked things away neater than they had been. It will be much easier to get at things now.
Once I was done I took a much deserved rest on the couch with my book. When Skot decided he was done I put out left overs for us to Nom on while watching Skot beat the snot out of monsters on Zelda.

We turned off the game at 9 and went to do some herb assisted yoga and some hard snuggling.
Ah, Sunday


Woke up pretty late 9am
had some coffee and chatted with Skot. Got dressed and tended to the bunnies. All the babies seem very healthy. All the others are very fond of getting pets. :)
Skot will fetch Aya and hang out with her till OC, Mom and I will go early to set up the greeting table and tea stuff.
What to do for the next couple of hours...?
Dropped Skot off at his truck, we left it at Tamaras last night when he picked me up for our movie date.
I went to the grocery store for OC tasty treats then home to slice up all the oranges. :)
Went to Open Circle, set up tea and stretched. 17 people at OC, good turn out for such a beautiful day.
The meditation was good and took me deep.
The tea time was brief so I cleaned up, handed off the tea things to Don and Anita to return to Steve then took off with Mom. Dropped Mom at home and drove up to Bonny Doon to fetch D. A nice little visit, stopped at the grocery store on the way home. Skot had dinner ready when we arrived at 5:45. :)
After dinner we relaxed and chose to watch an old Arnold flick, Terminator! D hadn't seen it yet and found out the Kyle Reese is John Connor's father. :)
It was really nice just hanging out and snuggling with Skot and D on the couch.
Juan picked her up at 10:30, we made it to bed by 11

Saturday, June 9, 2012


Friday was a whirlwind!
Made an awesome breakfast of bacon, eggs and Skot helped me make biscuits. Got both girls and the dog in the car. Delivered D to her last formal day of school (she tells me later that she has 109 credits toward graduation!) Aya went with me to Henry Cowell National Park to meet up with Bill and Jeri.

We took the dogs down pipeline road a little over 2 miles there and back. We had some great conversations about magic, ritual and dog-sitting. :) Aya had a great time with her new camera.
Aya and I came back to the house and collapsed on the couch for about an hour. Had some lunch then headed out again. I delivered D's overnight gear to her at school, she was in a great mood. Then went to see if Emma and her folks were ready for their play-date. Carl and Michelle were struggling with some attitude issues coming from Emma and were debating the overnight. I talked with Michelle about giving the girls a goal to earn back the right to stay and she agreed. Later when she called to check in it was all ok.

I came home after dropping off kids and had a couple hours to just relax, I read my book.
At 5 I got dressed and put some fun items in a bag and went to Tamara's for 'Girls Nite'. We ate, chatted and watched burlesque videos, a few of Us even danced and played on the pole.
Before all that I got a chance to ask Tam if she wanted to join our circle, she was happy and honored, so I think she will be coming to check us out. =D

Skot and I were in communications to verify that Aya would indeed be staying the night with Emma, with that confirmed Skot and I made a date to go to the movies. He picked me up at the party at 9 and we made it to see the 915 Snow White and the Huntsman, cool special affects, fun plot but a little overdone.
Skot is having trouble with an abscessed tooth and may need to get to a dentist pretty soon.

Off to bed at 1230

Thursday, June 7, 2012


Today we just could not wake up!
Took me an hour to come out of a sleepy funk and get the coffee pumping through my system.
Skot and I took Aya to school and stuck around for their moving on Ceremony from 9-10. A sweet event that has the kids acknowledged that they are going to the next grade.
Home by 10:15 and D was already doing her homework. I sat with her on the couch for a long while helping her do Geography, then we made some lunch and she finished her Geography at the table.
She decided to take a shower before tackling the Biology labs, but once those are done she is essentially finished with her work. She will work on Math with her tutor Friday morning and turn in all her assignments as well as her books Friday afternoon. =)
Aya is now a 5th grader and D will be a Junior in HS. OMG!

Helped D finish her assignments
Took Aya to piano and hung out reading with D.
Stopped by CVS to pick up a few things and the girls started playing with a ball, they were so cute and silly I bought it.
After dinner and a little TV time Skot, Aya and D started playing keep away with the ball in the living room. Mom couldn't hang so she took off and I joined in on the giggle fest.
Off to bed around 10 pm.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


Hmm so yesterday seemed to have escaped me.
I was up taking care of things in the usual fashion. Skot took Aya to school for me so I had time.
Still no baby bunnies.
Can't really remember the morning but I got to the gym at about 10ish and I had forgotten my phone (head smack). Used the iPod and the gyms free wifi to email Skot my blunder.
Did my usual 2.25 miles in 30, but man I was not up for it. Totally drunk on endorphin's I did 90 crunches then headed for the pull up machine. instead of doing more I decided to make it harder, I set it for a lower weight assist, only 110# and did the 15 in three sets of 5. Now my head was really spinning, I got some water, shook it off and headed for the cable weights. Set my self up for 30/30's and got through 2 sets before I caved in. My abs were shaking and I couldn't focus. Went and got more water then sat down to stretch and catch my breath. Emailed Skot one last message then hit the showers, dressed and left.
Went to Whole foods to get lunch, a nice salad, some tea and a bag of blue corn chips with a side of Annies cashew spread. It took a lot of control not to buy and/or eat everything in sight! I got to Ang's about 5 minutes early and dug in. After our episode of snarky BBC History and 20 minutes of video games I took off early. I drove out to the feed store in Soquel and picked up supplies for nearly all the critters. Now I was insanely ahead of schedule so I arrived at Westcliff just after 2pm. I sat in the car listening to music and watching the people til 230 then I went in to the school to see if Aya was back from her field trip yet. No such luck so I got to wait in the lobby for another 30 minutes. She came in all damp and bedraggled. :)
As we were heading for the car we passed the garden and there were tomato plants up for grabs, I took 3 although I do not have high hopes for tomatoes this year I just thought they would go well in the garden beds out front.
At home Aya cleaned her room and I can't remember what I was doing, I think I was creating the CS agenda for the Board meeting.
I finally hit the kitchen and whipped up some marinara with chicken and mushrooms, curly pasta and a huge salad. Skot got home at 5:30, puttered about and came in for dinner at 6. Aaron showed up at 5 minutes after 6 and joined us for dinner. We all hung out for a while then Aaron and I went for a hot tub and sauna 8:30-10.
D was home when we got back so we visited with her a bit. They made plans for some summer math tutoring. =)
to bed.

Skot took Aya t school for me again this morning, which meant D and I were up way to early, ah well. We hugged and kissed Aaron good bye the D and I went to take care of animals. Squeee!! babies!!! I counted 8 but will need to double check that later.
I took D to school, her last day of Psych class, she just text-ed me that she got a B! Sweet.
When I got home I watered the front garden bed and transplanted my newly acquired tomatoes. Then went ballistic on some weeds in the front yard before retreating back to the house.I need to get ready for tonight's Board meeting and then meet Paul for lunch at Betty's Burgers downtown.

Agenda reconfigured and emailed out, bed made, table cleaned, chicken defrosted. Lunch at Betty's was entertaining. I stopped and got fuel on the way home and D called me wanting me to pick her up from school. =) I stopped at the house really just to get snacks and beverages before picking up the kids.

I busted my ass to get to everyone on time and as soon as I get to Aya she asked if she can go home with Yssy. Sigh. I stopped on the way home to get ice cream for Dahniella. She has spent the afternoon sunbathing, I put dinner in the oven and retreated to the couch with my book. =)

Nearly ready for the Board meeting:

The Board meeting was intense. I feel badly for Ang, he has done so much this last few months and it's really not letting up. As well as having quite the intense conversations about whether or not we felt Jason and Ari were ready to present a full CS ritual. I will do my best to support him by taking on the newsletter again.

After the meeting Amanda hung out for some moral support regarding her nosy neighbor. Then we all headed for bed.

Monday, June 4, 2012


Good Gods is it really June?!?
I spent the morning catching up on my blog, washing linens and drinking coffee.
Checked on bunnies, Annie has not yet kindled but should be anytime now. The two new kids are adjusting well.
Need to do a few more things online for CS but then may retreat to the couch for some more reading. :)

ok, 2 loads of linens, one load of towels, swept kitchen, bathroom and dining room, vacuumed the living room, hall and 2 bedrooms. A lot of carrying things back and forth to get crap out of the living room and I still have not put the game away that got me started on all this. :) LOL! And I will need to fold all that laundry and remake the bed, but it sure makes the place feel fresher!
The light summer rain has been absolutely refreshing today. I can't wait to get out and go pick up Aya. Perhaps we can get some sewing stuff for her today.

Yay! Aya and I went and got her some sewing gear, she is integrating it with her current stuff as well as clearing a space in her room for the mini sewing machine we know she has stashed somewhere. :)

Alrighty then, My student showed up for her session just as Skot was making dinner. We finished up just before Skot's student showed up for her session. I had leftovers and watched Avatar the last air bender with Aya until 9. Skot finished up with his student and is now putting Aya to bed.
We will need to make our bed before we can go to sleep. That is if I can sleep with such a gorgeous full moon out and the clouds are all gone!

Still no baby bunnies, she is due!

5/31-6/3/2012 Catching up

Whoa, I have not sat at my computer for any length of time in over 4 days.
My week tumbled out and became all engrossing. I will just summarize the events
Thursday 5/31
I took Aya to school then decided not to go to the gym. After the day on the beach my calves were in no shape to hit the trainer. Instead I came home and helped D with her home work, cooked and did a little laundry and had a lunch visit with Nancy. I got to see her new car, wow, sparkley!
2:30 we took off and picked up Aya from school, dropped D off at dance, stopped at TJ's to grab some snacks then off to Aya's Piano lesson. We got stuck in traffic and got there late. :(
I also left my dragon book there. Sigh.
Got home and made dinner, ate dinner then went and fetched D from dance.
Mellow evening at home

Friday 6/1
I took Aya to school, went out for coffee with D then took her to school. Stopped at TJ's and picked up $50 of goodies to bake for the recital. Baked from 10:30 - 2:30 something like 50 cupcakes, 4 dozen chocolate chip cookies and 2 loaves of banana nut bread.
Went and picked Aya up from school but not Yssy, the plan was to collect Yssy at the Potluck and play later that evening, but Yssy cancelled the overnight. D got a ride with Shawn and Rory to the school bonfire. Skot went with Aya since I needed to join D but that gave me about 4 hours to myself. YAY! I read some of the books I bought with my Amazon gift cert. =)
Left at about 6:30, wandered out to the Twin lakes beach, found the gang. Hung out and chatted with various adults and other teens. Called D to go at 8 and we were in the car by 8:30 heading home. The normal meanderings and family interactions until bed time. I crashed early.

Saturday 6/2
Got up and showered at 7ish. got the household moving, made coffee and tea, eggs and toast. Sent Aya to deal with bunnies and chickens.
Camille arrived just before 9 and Yssy arrived just after. We packed the Mercedes with all the costumes and baked goods. Then Yssy announces that she forgot a part of her costume. AGGH!
Skot scooped her up took her back to her house and raced back here. We all piled in to the Mercedes and waved good bye to Momas. Got to the theater at about 10:10. I immediately took over incoming registration from Abra and worked that table for 3 hours; kids, parents, signature, wash, rinse repeat. Skot took on set up administration and security, he also went and bought us some lunch (thank the Gods!) At 1 the second crew showed up and I was relieved of duty. Then on to hanging out in front waiting for friends to arrive so I could hand out my extra tickets. Robin arrived, I gave her her ticket, shortly before Juan arrived with Mom, Jenya made it with Nico, I gave her one ticket and she stood in line for the second one. The doors opened and every one jammed in to the lobby. Aaron arrived with little Sam, I gave him his ticket then waited with him to get in.
We sat far front left, where we could see both our girls very well. I cried, I laughed and I swooned. My God our girls are getting good. After the show we poured out on to the sidewalk I went to get the girls and realized I should have used my backstage authority to just go through the curtain from the stage. Oh well, D was the last one out, sigh, we had to help her pack and carry all her stuff, her feet hurt and she was utterly scattered.
Out front was the flowers, cards, hugs and chatter. D and Rory went with Juan, Yssy went with her Mom, Camille had been picked up at 2, so Mom, Skot, Aya and I piled in to the Mercedes and met Robin at I <3 Sushi. The lock on the trunk broke so we could not retrieve or put anything in it. (Mom has an appointment with the Garage on Thursday) Aya was so hungry she ate all the appetizers and was eating her sushi so fast she made herself sick. Laying in her fathers lap through half of dinner. Skot and I got wrecked on a bunch of free Saki! Robin had brought Bday gifts for Aya, they were fun and much appreciated. When we got home Skot and I dissected the back seat of the Mercedes hoping to enter the trunk from the back. No luck, solid metal, but we were able to disassemble and put the seat back in about 15 minutes. Then I watered the vegetable garden, checked on the bunnies, bumbled around and finally crashed on the couch and played with Aya's new games. I went to bed at 9:30/10

Sunday 6/3
Aya's 10th Bday
Got up and worked with Aya on the animals. Skot made breakfast and I wrapped her gifts. Breakfast and gifts done at a leisurely pace then Skot and Aya played with her new video game some more.
Abra arrived at 10:30 and took Aya to the SJ water park with some of her friends.
Skot turned in to a whirling dervish; he took off to pick up groceries for Bday dinner. I cleaned the kitchen while he was out so that he would have somewhere to work. When he got back I retreated to the couch with my book. He only asked for my help a couple times for various things but mostly I read and he joyfully clambered about the kitchen making the most amazing dinner for 20  people. He jettisoned again to pick up the Thai curry and rice that he had ordered. When he got back he remembered to share with me that the traffic was crazy downtown, Gay Pride parade and all the tourists combined. He finished packing all the food up and I read my book. Finally he gives me the heads up, we pack the car and take all this yummyness down to Abra's house and set up for dinner and guests. I read some more on the couch. People finally arrived, Aya and Abra came late from SJ, but that was to be expected. We had dinner, presents and cupcakes with various amounts of interruption and diversions.
We packed up and came home about 8:30. Skot put all the food away then we sat and watched a very silly movie, Tropic Thunder.
Shower, yoga, bed.

The weekend was really long. I missed the CS walk but that has to happen occasionally. All of us are totally wiped out.